Small Things Can Become Big

what happend if you're facing with a situation where you feel stuck between two situation?

here is not right, there is not right

again as a part time therapist i can give another suggestion to those who are having these kind of problems ....

first : you need to sort out which one is more important. satisfying your friends feeling and your other friends feeling or your own feeling.

second : if you can't make a decision for the first question then think about the consequences of your decision and who cares just satisfy yourself and dumb them far far away!

well, from here i may seem unprofessional and seem bias as i encourage ppl who comes to sort out their problem to handle this hard situation as simple as this.

don't blame me coz after all im just a part time therapist and im unpaid. so i am not responsible to anyone except to myself. i am not unswerable to any superior coz i am my own superior *wink*

see, that's the beauty of being unpaid and part time :P

but then again sometimes i do bump into these situation. how do i sort out this kind of trashy probs and how can i satisfy all the parties???

answer : i keep quiet. let them talk about it as much as they like. as soon as they get tired they'll be tired while me still smiling happily, untired but rather feel merrier with their childish attitude. i will probably sang to them Grow Up by Simple Plan.

reason : for them to realize they need to Grow Up!

yes, learn to grow up seriously dars. if you think you are grown up enough then you should act like a normal grown up ppl. if not then we let you mingle with your clan first.

i aint the people who judge another person (maybe sometimes i did tho,forgive me,me pardon...) but think what is the consequences of your precious words (beside the ruthless words that came out from your mouth that even shakespeare will compose a poem, all is as good as it can be)

maintain your earlier self that i know! that early time i knew you before and the time when no one wanna talk to you. your not the same person i knew before :'( 

yes its sad but true! as what was said by Metallica. i so agree with that.

..........

i have no particular feelings to express what do i really feel now. for me all this is a test for me and i know something good will come soon. Allah is testing me with his test and although i previously always fail my law paper but i will make sure i wont failed my creator's test. i will always ask for guidance from him.

He who know me the best. He who creates me. He who can fulfill my wish.

so my conclusion for this theraphy session which not only i did to those who need it but for me to sort out my own probs, what you really need to do is SHUT YOUR MOUTH and PRAY TO GOD that whatever sins that you did will be forgiven.

AMIN 

Si Tomblok Akhirnya Pulang

akhirnya seperti yg dikatakan di title, si tomblok pulang .... siapa itu si tomblok??

si tomblok itu ....

yahh, si tomblok la.

nama sebenar harus dirahsiakan. s&p.

aku puas sbb akhirnya dia balik jugak. so dua warga emas yg plg aku sayang dan cinta itu akan merasa senang hati dan aku tak la di omelin trus2an. cape deh.

 

mom n dad - warga emas :P

masa dia balik tadi aku tgh tgk cita Sejuta Cinta Marshanda, so tak leh nk smbut dia dgn kompang dan pancaragam, LOL.

wajah ashraf mengalihkan duniaku dari si tomblok, wakakaka. jgn marah bcl.

mending baim la, dia kn blum kahwin :P

neway, so glad that he came back home today. si tomblok's wife told me dat tomblok misses me so much.

yaya watever. tomblok will never said dat. he maybe a sweet husband but he aint a sweet brother. muahaha. but i wish he is tho :'(

 

so sweet~

tp lps dh lama tak jumpa guess wat we chatted about ?? 

Games!!!

I guess he and i only have 2 thing in common, either games or cats. he love cats and i do too. the thing is the cat will choose him more than chosing me. that's why i kinda envy him.how come all the cats can juz 'click' to him but not me. envy mode on.

besok aku nak mintak dia blanja aku mkn...tak kira.time dia ada kat umah ni la aku nk peras dia habis2an. 

nk mintak dia blanja fish n chips yg sedap kat food court dekat The Cove.

then nak mintak dia blanja Roti John kat tanjung tokong ...

tapi harus diingatkan, gambar2 ni hanyalah sekadar gambar hiasan. mknn yg asli nya nnt aku baru update kalu dah dapat. tapi yg pasti roti john kat tanjung tokong mmg THE BEST! 

dalam banyak2 roti john,utk aku cuman dkt situ yg plg best dlm area Penang. mayo dia banyak,sos pun banyak,daging dan telur mmg plg best!sehingga menjilat jari dan plastik lah.

time to zzzzzzz ...

tomoro hopefully they call me and ask me to go intvw. kinda bored at home n do nothing.

ini la si tomblok kalu nk tauuu ...

comel tapi nyebelin~

and the award goes to ..... Thomas Mueller !!!

Congrats to Thomas Mueller for winning two awards at this year 2010 World Cup.

the awards are the Golden Boot Award and Best Young Player ^_^

Golden Boot Award

Best Young Player

although my germany did not win this world cup and only managed to grab third place it is fine and aok with me as it is their spirit to play that are most important to me!

ohhh, how i wish i could have three citizenship ...

now having Malaysian citizenship

proud to be Malaysian <3

my heritage is originally from Indonesia

so i wanna be part of the nation also <3

my spirit and support and interest is always with Germany

it would be cool if Angela Merkel wanna give me citizenship <3

LASTLY , CONGRATS AGAIN FOR THE AWARD!

THOMAS MÜLLER

Don't ever sleep on the afternoon, till afternoon or after afternoon.

 ok, the reason for that second long title is because i just had this weird but related to me dream. it is actually kinda tragic in a way for the guy but good ending for the girl but at the end everything turned out to be a different ending.

here it goes ....

today i kinda woke up very early in the morning. after subuh prayer i don't feel like sleeping anymore. so i decide to wash my clothes (finally i had the initiative to help mom & do my own laundry)

after i did my laundry i decided to surf the net and maybe watch a few good movies online. i don't know why that morning i feel like watching Mary Poppins at youtube. the line was damn slow these few days and i malas already wanna watch and dl few old songs like Mocca - I Remember (just listened at fren's house)

surfing will usually make my eyes very tired and after trying very hard to surf that slow ocean of internet, i decide to take a nap. at that time it was already 12noon and i had my brunch already, roti canai Transfer Road (yummy!!!)

ok, sorry for dragging this story and sorry for the need to read my early grandma stories ... hehe, i think it is just my nature to tell everything in details.

the story begin ...

the moment when i start the dream, im already in a middle of conversation between frens and unknown frens. if im not mistaken it should be some kedai mamak or just like a place to hang out to for the youngster to watch football. discussion and argument about football are going on at tht time.

so , rather awkward after just realising i was at a new place i straightaway find a laptop and use it. i chat with a fren of mine and surprisingly it goes back towards the game between Argentina v Germany. and of course i just defend all out my Germany from being taunted with bad words by the net fren.

and when we were discussing sudddenly one of the known fren (a guy) approach me and have a glimpse of what i chatted with the net fren (i guess i must've been borrowing his laptop tho,haha)

then on my side there was a guy which if im not mistaken i've known him or seen him somewhere before today.

"hah!"

"aku ingat dah!"

"Rio Reifan!"

but at that time i didn't mention his name but rather just shout out quietly only just as a reminder and coz im in shock , haha

~Rio Reifan~

then i just ignore him, pretending i didn't see him and did not know him at all. but i realise that he was looking towards me when i was talking to the fren who borrowed me the laptop as before this he was talking with him.

then somehow another fren came in front of me and talk to him and he changed his seating position and seating nearer to me this time that even our shoulder collided with each other.

at first i feel so heavy when he actually did lean on me a bit and immediately after he move away i state my relief sensation from being lean on for quite a time.

"adoi, akhirnya lo minggir jg"

then rio replied me back

"oh,maaf kalo gw uda beratin lo tp keanya ga deh"

then i told him again then i kinda feel that he was leaning towards me like im some kind of wall or something and then he instantly move and seat very near to me again and look at me ...

what i know is that the next day both of us already married ... GILA!!!

i said that because both of us are in a room which for me kinda familiar. then i realise im at my mom's hometown at tebing tinggi,pabatu.

when i went out from the room my mom was there and she just asked what is the feeling of becoming Pengantin Baru.

i was shocked but somehow i was happy : p

but there was something inside my heart that make me feel so restless. then i remember abt this guy that i like. i was wondering what ever happend to him...

so after my mom left the kitchen (apparently our room is connected to the kitchen, ridiculous!) i decided to fold some dry clothes that i had already picked up in the morning (this must be due to the effect that i washed my clothes tis morning)

then when i look on my left side and i saw the guy that i like! he was staring at my windows but like mengelamun type. (ohh,dlm mimpi ni dia jiran sbelah rumah aku la pulak,pelik la tis dream)

then he startled a bit and he congratulate me for my marriage.

"ei,tahniah la sebab u dah kawin dengan org yg baik dan kaya.good for you"

he smile but sadly i can feel that he forced himself to give me that smile.

and somehow i feel so torn apart by the words uttered from his mouth. now i realise that my love is actually for him and not for rio!

then somehow rio called me into the room and i told him i have to settle something first . at that time i was in tears.

i went into my brother's room (which at that time he just woke up) and i told him about my problem. i told him i actually love the neighbour and i just realise about it. he then scolded me. he asked me

"macam mana boleh jadi macam ni?? then macam mana dulu bercinta?? how boring can your love life be?? "

then i just told him although it was boring in his eyes but it was something meaningful and precious for me. he is like the boy that i think im gonna end up marrying but turn out differently.

then i ran out from his room. all i know is that after that i was already at some kedai runcit buying maggie mee. (weird)

then on my way back i saw a bunch of samseng walking towards the ocean and me being a busy body person followed them and daringly asked one of them where are you going.

then one of them told me they are heading towards this particular person house and when i heard the name i was shocked .... it was my house!

they wanna revenge on behalf of their leader for me breaking the heart of their leader. i was so scared and i wanna see who is their leader.

it turn out to be the next door neighbour that i fell in love with. i was stunned and cried instantly (this is so movie, klise!)

he was smoking on his bike (a.k.a bicycle) at that time, which for me i find it very funny.

c'mon, a gangster smoking on a motor bike is acceptable but this one is a bicycle! maybe samseng kampung dusun,hahaha.

then i can see that he was very sad and at that time he told them

"i don't ask you all to kill them but you want to do it for me. it is up to you. even if you killed all of them her heart still belongs to the husband and not me"

i shed tears (again, lame) when i heard his words and left my groceries and hug him and jump over his bicycle (memalukan)

then i told him my heart is for you and i regret for every decision i made previously and willing to follow him anywhere he goes.

so there it goes, he cycle the both of us far far away heading somewhere im not sure.

and that is the end of my dream because i force myself to get up from that dreadful dream.

too klise!

too tragic!!

too LAME!!!

what do you want from me and what people want me to do for people?

this is me, the author of this blog writing about what my fren being facing with. i now considered myself as a part time therapist, lol, with no charge of course.

so here it goes ....

that is a very long title aye? coz tis is wat i've been facing with. they want something from me and they want me to satisfy ppl and they expect me to do as they wish. very tired and sumore i was not being paid,yet or soon or none. urghh, cape deh.

so now im asking you ... "what do you want from me" and do you expect me to pamper you every single time i wanna satisfy my ownself??

don't you have some other work to do coz as far as i know you have something more important dat you need to do rather than me.

is it wrong for me to pamper my ownself without looking at what other ppl would think or would like me actually to do??

i think until one extend your patient level will just rise up till you are no longer able to hold it in and it will burst out like Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland.

this work is a really tiring job i ever did. but maybe for those who used to do this work it ain't dat bad tho but for me , the newbies, it is quite a burden. bcoz you don't know which person you wanna satisfy the most. is it them or them?

and definitely i can't spot myself in this situation. no one cares how to satisfy me coz i am no one plus my situation now even worse. i don't think ppl respect me in a way. i don't mind coz i know who i am.

those below always must respect those who are above us the lower class ppl. in this modern world this thing still are happening.

no wonder ppl are chasing wealth and status, i think i clearly got the idea now what's happening.

till now, i can't state what's in my mind, fearing that someone will loose their job bcoz of me. i don't want that to happend so im shutting my mouth shutttt~

from here it sounds as if im holding the biggest secret of all and if i spill it someone will be killed, hahaha. yes someone will not be killed literally but they will be killed inside and out indeed. no blood needed for this killing, only mind game.

it will tear you apart and traumatise you ....

and maybe it will just make you feel like being bullied

 

and just wanna stay away from those ppl who once tried to control you and made you do as they wish.

but you know what, let just bygone be bygone . buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih. this is just my expression towards the thing happening to me. to my boss , you know who you are, stop being bossy and try to think about what ppl feel also. and please, no more bad words to me ya or to the other colleague.

just give peace a chance

To end this modern therapy session, i just wanna tell that as a therapist, whatever problem you've been handling you can always tell any therapist or even your true best buddy which you know that they won't spill it to anyone else. in other words, they bring your secret into their grave.

Peace Out.

ps : if you have any probs, don't forget to call your frenly therapist :-)