the indie-pendent night

yesterday is the night before Malaysia,my beloved country celebrated their 51st Independents Day.it is going to be my first day also celebrating the nite of independence day outside the home since all this while i've been celebrating it in the house itself only with my parents.so,what plans do i have for that special nite??am i going to make myself wasted outside?no, i had better plan though...

the same nite itself which is the 30th of August 2008,a gig was held at Soundmaker, Weld Quay area.in the first place i tot its going to be in a big space and etc with lots of people cramming in the place with a very sweaty and 'heaty' experience but it turned out to be differently.it was not that bad for a first timer like me(a real first timer for a gig)and it was actually a really new and exciting experienced.


ok,lets not waste my time and the electricity coz wasting electricity is not cool coz it can cause global warming.neway,the show/gig should be starting earlier but a friend of my friend told him that the gig only started around 4 like that or earlier or later..i dunno.i arrived there only at 7pm,im a late comers!haha!!there's saying "a true rockers never came early for a show/gig"....im following that saying actually.lol.

neway,we(my fren n I) arrived there like a true rockstar.we came,we climb,we saw(the counter ticket),we walkthrough(not paying for the ticket,lol)and we conquer the place by placing ourself at the most safest place of all...beside the stage.it was actually rather safe to step aside and let other hard rockers,skinheads,punkers n etc take their position to kick off one another(literally).there was a band that was performing on stage but seriously i dunno the band name(sorry),my fren should know the name since his fren is in the band.well,they really kicked off the show and i was kinda enjoying the show and i was expecting more to come.eventually yes...later,a poet by the name of Rahmat Harun performed with his deep poem.honestly,children below aged are not allowed to listen to all this crap.haha,but adult should listen to this art though coz it meant something if we really understand it and we should take it and apply it literally what happened around us.i know that Mrs.Hatia will definitely hold her breath and make her shocking face and the eyes glued to the poet and said "oh my goodness,its that even a word that was coming out from his mouth or hisses,sick in the head people"..hahaha.that what i guess she should be saying but not me.basically the poem relates bout whats happening in Malaysia.

then it continues with performance from various bands that for me really kicked the show that nite!i was really enjoying it from the side and all of them are very cool people and they will be even cooler without alcohol though...lol.no offense ya.i prefer a performance without a single alcohol bottle bcoz like what a saying once said "a true rockers never drink during their performance" which is not so true but i was hoping it could be true though....lots of band that performed on that night i barely know them and i cant even remember their name,gosh,my memory so bad..must upgrade the memory card some more.

but the one tht i could not forget is the performance by Circle of Friends where in the beginning itself they already show their 'self-hatred' towards those who are homophobic.this is actually the first time i saw all 'this' in front of me but i manage to take it easy though coz i was actually staring at the drummer rather than the vocalist.he didnt distract me that well though..huhu.that band is from Singapore and the funny thing about this band is that among all the thing that they should have forgotten,there is a thing that they(or more to the drummer) that he shouldn't forget but he had forgotten..drum stick!he had forgotten or purposely not bringing his drum stick and he has to like "hey,any body got drum stick??" i was just laughing from the side there.eventually someone borrowed him one and he played well.he is awesome!

Gang Buster also did performed for the show and they rock the house!so basically when they performed all those skinheads came down and just enjoying the show and to be honest i enjoyed it so much.they performed few songs(sorry i dunno the name of all the songs they played) and the crowd was just enjoying and loving the performance and start kicking themselves again.haha...among all i still remember a guy wearing a red shirt or jacket with a big red shoes like Ronald McDonald who was dancing enjoying the show.he really looked 'high' at that time...but for me he looks funny at that time.

a band from KL also performed and i dunno them and the name oslo.they r kinda good though they really sounded like Metallica. maybe its the fact that they played Enter Sandman using their own version called Enter Sandman 1.2 or sumthing like that...according to my fren,they all is Reshmonu punya anak didik,lebih kurang macam tu kot.

the last performance that i saw would be Circle of Friends and after that i have to chiao followed my fren to take his own circle of friends.hehehe..the show continues on the 31st of August but too bad i cant go for the continuing show.gosh...neway,my fren shared with me his xperience and even show me some of the footage of the show.it was so cool coz it was held on the rooftop!gosh..i wished i could be there.more cooler bands performed on that nite like Teenage Glory For The Wasted, Shewolf, Damn Dirty Apes, Flica & much more.for those who watched the show/gig they are very very lucky coz i heard most of the bands that performed on the 2nd day is more hectic and cool and the best part is that it was held on the rooftop!!my fren even told me that there's a band by the name of Uglyman who sang in Chinese but can still attract the attention(tari crown) of the audience.wasn't that cool!!!awesome!

Basically, what can i say about my first time experience celebrating Independents Day outside the house and watching a live gig is a truly worth taking a risk experience.Im seing the nicest and the most awesome bunga api once i get down from the hall where the gig was held.oh ya,no matter wat you must take care of yourself properly bcoz you might get the tendency to be hit by a car(maniac!i will remember you dark blue toyota/honda with halogen light) or being strangle by your own fren or being 'choped' as sum1 special fren.hahaha...thats all.

chiao for now.

ps : i love you.

devastating life!!!

sick of myself
sick of the people around me
they make me think differently
end up getting different thing!

maybe they dont know
that im fragile as glass
and maybe they dont know
that i can be as cold as ice
maybe they dont know
that i can be pissed
and maybe they dont know
i can be patient
maybe they dont know
that i can easily fall in love
and maybe they dont know
that i can easily hate people

i always advise myself
be careful whom you be friend with
be careful whom you gonna like
but it remain empty advise

no matter wat
i will end up with something wrong
i never made anything right
it seems...

but im gonna try to fake the truth
by making more empty promises
by making more convincing phrase
that i can do it
i can do it
though the truth lies inside me

IM ALWAYS GONNA BE ME,MYSELF AND NO ONE.

a total confusion!

right now im torn between two though..im confused with myself also coz if i decided to take one turn,it would result with some clash between me n my fren.and if i take another turn,i would have to sacrifice myself lo.but still i dun suffer that much coz that decision oso is not certain(im not sure whether the turn would get the same result).but now honestly im always thinking about him only and that is a dangerous thing to happend.i cant betray my fren bt at the same time i like him.but honestly,which one is more important??frenship or love??for me it would be friendship coz we cant really find a true friend and once we find them we should appreciate them.

i have to stay focus with pengsan only but still im not sure whether pengsan like me or not.haih,wat a bummer!wish that he could confess to me(dream on).but still i honestly cant denied my own feelings and i kinda think bout 'shah reza' look-a-like.he's cute!!wat else do you need??!hehehe...but i bet lots of girl likes him and had a crush on him and this includes the patient themself.like me,im the person who bring or ascorted the patient and still fall in love at him,haha!i can easily fall to people esp if they are cute!dun blame me bcoz im just being a girl.hahaha...!

perfect love story

looking at the love shown between shinichi and ran remind me of sumthing.the love between the both of them shows that even if the person you really loved the most is not in front of you,it doesnt mean that you must stop loving them.the love will continue if it is a genuine love and true love that you believe in.i wonder if those kinda love really exist in today's world becoz i rarely seen it and at the same time it happend to me.but the thing is i FINALLY realize tht he's not the one for me.that is a good reason why now i have to think twice before i enter into any relationship bcoz you'll regret it once you be with someone but seing the person you really love the most as only a stranger or fren rather than ur partner.the worst is that when you found out that that person you had a crushed actually like you the same as you do to him.that is the time you feel like you wished you would never meet the person you are with now.that happened to me and as a conclusion,i ended the relationship bcoz i cant deny my own feelings nemore and i cant go kidding around with myself nemore.im just being me.

ran's love towards shinichi is really sumthing!that shows how a true love must be.the same goes to shinichi's love towards ran.he just didnt realize bout it earlier and still denying the fact that he likes her.

"if you are destined with sumone,that person will still be ur partner no matter what happened"

that is a good phrase describing the love between heiji hattori and kazuha.heiji just realize that kazuha was the first love he found in his life and that happened when he was in kyoto.he was searching for the first love until the time he thought that he already found the person he was searching for but at the end that person was not the one that he was searching for.he did not realize that the person he was searching for is the person who is always standing by near him,kazuha.he finally found out about it and was glad that he knows that the person whom he love now is the person whom he loved when he was still a kid.

how i wish that these kind of fairy tales can really happened in real life...esp happend to me.i mostly fit to ran situation where i actually had a crush on this guy and he is my only crushed that i still like and remember till now and really missed a lot.the guy is mph but too bad he got 'sumone' else as his partner,i guess.so basically my fairy tales will remain as fairy tales though last time i was hoping that it could become true and i really actually believed that it will come true though,i just feel it!but too bad,my feeling was just denying the fact that it is the most impossible things that could happend.well,im still hoping that i can meet him and i will wait the time when im going to meet him and hopefully im prepared for it.

my exam

walaueh...i dunno wat to say about the xm just now leh.i answered all four question but amazingly i still got time to just sit and look back at all my question and can even tried out sum other question that i didnt do.i even can flip back the statute book as if im revising it.owh...God,please let me just pass this paper and the rest of the other 3 papers.im so scared bcoz all my fren seems so confident while me just worried about my paper.it is bcoz most of them answered all 2pages only while all my friend answered either 2.5pages or 3 pages.im so so so scared!am i missing anything in my answer??hopefully not la and i really hope that the lecturer in UK can be lenient while marking all my papers.anyway,this is only the 1st paper and i shouldnt let myself down like this but rather i must prepare for the next paper and i should go all out for all the next paper.

ps:yesterday or can say that this morning i had a terrible sleep bcoz i couldnt sleep till i ate panadol.see how stressed i am??but still i can surf the net just to see fu hai feng cute pic and listen to sum nice song(slow korean song).shy to admit but sumtimes i do njoy this kinda songs.sooth my ear and easy listening.




this is wat i did basically yesterday b4 my crime paper.lol.yes yes,its a crime!

pikiran ngak keruan

temen gue yg satu ni kangen banget ama 'pengsannya'.smakin dia mndgr lagunya ct 'melawan kesepian' smakin dianya lg pkirin dia ja.gimana ya mau nasihatin dia ni??

kalu aku sih aku cuma tringatkn si mph itu.kangen banget ama dia!his face looks like fachry albar,exactly!dats why maybe i fall for him.all the memories are still remain with me.maybe thats the reason why i dun hv special one with me.but hopefully the next one should be permanent.maybe it could be mph...